I don’t know why it took me until this semester to realize that I just really really prefer older guys. The maturity level in 75% of guys my age is just not anywhere near where I need it to be.
I do not believe that true love exists in this romantic way that the whole world seems to be obsessed with.
I think it all really boils down to infatuation, lust, and obsession.
I have, in recent years, become even further compelled as far as to say that I don’t really want anything to do with it. I think it’s a waste of time energy and resources ESPECIALLY when I’m at school.
Now I will be the first to admit; I am not immune to every cute boy that meet. However I would classify all such encounters into one of 2 courses of action. There are those that I am overwhelmingly attracted to that lead to a small bout of some kind of obsession/lust monster that I get over in roughly one weeks time. And then there are those that blossom into a beautiful friendship that is completely platonic; I love these guys with all my heart, seeing them brings me joy, telling everyone else how much I love them brings me joy and so on.
So, rarely to guys in the first category live very long in my memory. Sometimes I find myself shuffling through 4 or 5 “regulars” every other week. Switch it up to make it interesting, but don’t waste time getting to know anyone new, you know.
The story I am trying to reach here is this: I made an exception. It’s not like I was IN LOVE or anything close. I just actually contemplated the option of actually pursuing this boy. I didnt plan to. If I HAD planned to, I don’t know if I would have predicted it would be this particular guy. But for whatever reason, it happened. And I was caught off guard and caught up in the excitement. But then, IN THE WORLDS FASTEST TURN AROUND, it was over. It was muddled and confusing. I still don’t understand why, and am convinced that it is for an unfounded reason. Or a reason beyond my control.
It’s hard to really explain how it all played out, but long story short. NEVER MAKE EXCEPTIONS.
*note: many of the events described in the latter half took place over a month ago. I had completely forgotten about it until I had an unfortunate encounter on the sidewalk earlier today.
Is it weird that sometimes, completely out of the blue, I’ll start seeing spots or “stars”? Like… I’ve been sitting here in the same spot, working on my computer, for like an hour. Not doing anything strenuous, or hanging upside down.. or even really moving… so whats the deal?
I love boys. They are the greatest.
And I know over half my schools population agrees with me.
We ALL like boys here at the Tisch School of the Arts and Crafts.
"What’s the most frightened you’ve ever been?"
“I once fell down a well in Vermont. It was 25 feet down and the water was freezing, plus it was too deep to stand. I was down there for 45 minutes with nothing to hold on to but a pipe. Luckily my neighbor finally heard me screaming, because I’d guess I had about 15 minutes left.”
“Wow. So did you reflect on your life at all down there?”
“No. I was trying to get out of the well.”
Just trying to get out of the well.
This was such a strange movie. Part of me wants to just classify it as one of those B movies that never really went anywhere and dont matter… but then the way that it was filmed and the stylization of it were really oddly attractive to me… And I also found Alex Pettyfer to be really really attractive as the beast.
This tattoo was the coolest part by far though.